This Is Not an April Fools’ Joke

In past years, I have written April Fools’ posts that ranged from the somewhat believable to the completely ridiculous.

This year, due to time constraints and a severe case of writer’s block, the best I could do is come up with these headlines for April Fools’ posts:

Day 17 of Delivery Robot Strike Continues: The robots continue to demand better batteries, increased investments in pothole repairs, and more protection from the teenage gangs who keep tipping them over on their routes.

The End of Last-Mile Delivery: The industry unanimously adopts the metric system, so beginning January 1, 2022, the final segment of the supply chain in the U.S. will be called “Last 1.60934 Kilometer Delivery.”

USPS Goes Public via SPAC: Why not, everyone is doing it these days!

Two Software Salespeople Arrested in Street Brawl. The fight was triggered when the two men from competing supply chain software companies began a heated argument about “their blue dots in some kind of magic square or something,” said one witness who wished to remain anonymous. “I don’t know what all the fuss is about,” said another witness, also a salesperson but from a different software company who doesn’t have a dot in the magic square. The two software companies declined to comment about their brawling employees, but they both issued press releases this morning, within a minute of each other, about being in the magic square.

I had one about a giant container ship blocking the Suez Canal for days, but life is stranger than fiction sometimes, and so I had to scrap it.

That’s all I got. Happy April Fools’ Day!